How Should I know Why ?

Hye, Hello, Mornin' , Night . Assalamualaikum .
Okay , I know There's no one reading my blog . Right ? So, I'm gonna write everything i feels In here !
It's Morning here . It's like 2.51am , So morning right ? And somehow or somewhat my feelings acts weird . And as time flies by , Its getting weirder . When it starts to happen ? Its start when i saw my Beloved Qurratu's picture . Her pics doesn't have anything wrong on it . It's perfect . But somehow , After i saw her pics , My heart start to cry . Its like my heart want to tell something but i can't retrieve what it want to say .
Why am i SAD ? The feeling just come to me like a thunder strikes a tree . I mean like suddenly it came and it really really effected me so much . Now , I can't even sleep with those sad feelings .
It takes 10 minute to think what have caused me in this sad situation . And i think Its the song called 'MAYBE' might have caused all this . Why ? Because the meaning in the song,the lyrics . It said

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change


That's the lyrics . For me , The lyrics like asking me to change from an annoying friend/boyfriend to someone who can be called like COOL guy . Not the cool like those pathetic punks or whatsoever . But someone cool like Cool . I can't explained it . Why i said cool ? Because i want something more and much better life . But i'm afraid to grab it . So know its time to change everything . Seeing all my friends change had a jealous feeling start to rise and conquer me . Plus , My girl also change from time to time , But me ? Always the Me . Never change anything . Everyone including my girl must have the feeling like ' OH ! it Mirza . The guy who thinks and talks the same thing all the time . ' Right ? So , From today onwards , I'm gonna try to be the new me ?! Especially on things like photoshoot . Everyone starts to push me to take pictures with them but i won't do it . Cause i know i gonna ruin the picture . But now ! It gonna be different . i PROMISE . Kay guys ? Hope you guys love the new me and won't brag anything bout me anymore ^_^